Newsletter #19: White Mice and Alligators

Shhhh, don’t tell my children. They have been the little white mice in my experiment. No, not like that, I am NOT a mad scientist! I’ve been using thinking routines from Harvard’s Project Zero on my family. I’m realizing that these strategies are wondrous for students AND my children! Visible thinking can build bridges of understanding with the people all around us, including those we love!

It came to me during a particularly difficult conversation with my daughter. She and I were missing each other in our discussion. I couldn’t seem to express myself well enough, nor could I understand her point of view. We were struggling to say words without wounding the other. Sound familiar? In my frustration, and desperation, I said to her something I’d said to one of my students earlier in the day, “What makes you say that?”

It is a non-threatening way of asking a person to explain themselves more clearly. Making thinking visible, so that I can better understand. “What Makes You Say That?” and other routines are part of Project Zero (PZ), a Harvard Graduate School of Education initiative.

While many of you may be familiar with PZ’s thinking routines, what you may not know is that PZ has developed a series of thinking and discussion strategies for parents and children. 

Communicating with children from the “app” age can be a struggle. Getting them to put down their phone long enough to make eye contact feels like wrestling an alligator -- it’s messy and the alligator loves it! How can we model visible thinking and communicate better with those closest to us? Project Zero has a few ideas:

• Name and Notice Thinking in those around you. Say things like, “I love how you made the connection between this and what you already know” or “I haven’t thought about it from that perspective before."
• Praise the Growth Mindset. Praise process and effort over ability. Say things like, “I can tell you’ve really worked hard on this” rather than “You are so smart” or “You’re so good at dance."
• Challenge but Don’t Rescue. When you observe your child struggling, don’t jump in with the answer! Ask questions that will guide them to the conclusions on their own.
• What Questions Did You Ask Today? Instead of asking someone how their day went, try asking, “what was the best question you asked today?”
• Focus on the Learning Over the Work. After a homework assignment or even a particularly difficult activity, ask your child what they thought the purpose was? What is the teacher or leader trying to teach? Then monitor the learning, not the work.
• Support Effect and Persuasive Arguing. Teens who argue constructively learn to build a case with evidence. Encourage your kids to have an opinion, but to support it, in the kindest way possible.
• Make your Own Thinking Visible. Model your own interests, passions, and curiosity. Be an example of a thinker, a noticer, and a wonderer.